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Our
#1 Relationship |
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Practical
Tips on improving our most important relationships
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The
Power of Listening and Words -- how they are crucial
to effective communication |
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Practical
Listening Tips for improving communication and relationships |
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OUR #1 RELATIONSHIP
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The very fabric of life is comprised
largely of relationships. According to Rodale's Synonym
Finder, "relation" means "connection,
tie, bond, union; connectedness, relatedness; interconnection,
interdependence; closeness, nearness; kinship."
We all appreciate the positive aspects of closeness,
and we all have to deal with difficult facets of our
various relationships: friends, siblings, parent/child,
classmates, teacher/student, girlfriend/boyfriend,
boss/employee, colleagues, and more. How effectively
we work through our relationships with others so that
they remain strong yet flexible, loving yet growing
really depends on how well we establish our connection
with God.
It is our relationship with God that is the most
crucial, valuable, essential relationship of all.
How do we know that? Christ Jesus affirmed:
The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel;
The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love
the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all
thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy
strength: this is the first commandment. And the
second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy
neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment
greater than these. Mark 12:29-31
First, we must love God. Then, we love our neighbor
as ourselves. In fact, we really can't love our neighbor
as ourselves until we love God. Often we give so much
attention to maintaining or fixing our relationships
with our neighbors friends, parents, others
that we neglect our relationship with God.
And yet, our relationship with God determines how
we view every other relationship in our experience.
If we aren't right with God, we can't be right with
others.
In order to clarify and strengthen our relationship
with God, it's helpful to think of God as our Best
Friend, our Parent.
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| As a Best Friend,
God
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As a Parent,
God
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- Answers us whenever we call. He is never
too busy for us.
- Tells us we're beautiful, always.
- Is completely committed to us.
- Inspires us moment by moment.
- Meets all of our true needs all the time.
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- Loves and cherishes us unconditionally.
- Gives us direction and guidance.
- Disciplines us lovingly.
- Comforts us eternally.
- Protects us powerfully and continually.
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The benefits of nurturing
our relationship with God as our Best Friend and Parent
are obvious. No one person or combination of people
can consistently meet our needs-and no human should
be expected to do so. But God does. Our relationship
with God should be the most fulfilling and wonderful
relationship in our lives. When it is, it is also the
most rewarding.
So how do we nurture our relationship with God and
make God our #1 priority?
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For some specific ideas on how to get our relationship
with God straight, let's turn to an expert, Abraham,
whose life proved that making God our #1 priority
opens us up to incredible blessings.
Feel free to read the story
of Abraham before you continue. Also, Make
a Difference has several Bible passages that highlight
key points in Abraham's life.
The Bible tells us that Abraham was "Set-Right-with-God"
(The Message Gen. 15:6). His biography as told
in Genesis reveals six key ingredients, or practical
tips, for aligning ourselves with God, which will
bless us and strengthen our relationships with others.
- Listening: First, Abraham listened to God.
When Abraham was 75, God told him to leave his homeland
and go to a place that God would show him.
- Practice listening to God. Sometimes it's
difficult when there seem to be several "voices"
telling us different things to do. But we can
detect God's voice. It's calm, powerful, clear,
moral, truthful, and persistent.
- Practice listening to others. Everyone wants
to be heard. But do we really know how to listen?
Listen to understand others. Listen to
learn. Be open-minded. Be an active listener.
- Courage: It took courage to worship one
God, to establish a new faith and a different relationship
with God since all the people around Abraham worshipped
several gods. It took courage for Abraham to follow
God's direction, to step out on his own mentally,
spiritually, and physically and move across
the country.
- Have the courage to take a stand for principle.
Refuse to compromise your integrity just because
it's easy or because others are cheating. Making
this stand requires moral courage.
- Ask yourself: "How can I live my life
with moral courage and integrity?" Write
down the answers and start putting them into
practice, even if it's just one idea at a time.
- Obedience: Once Abraham heard God's voice,
he obeyed. He took his entire family with him, even
his nephew Lot and his nephew's family.
- Do what God tells you to do, no matter how
big or little. Don't ignore God's directions.
Usually we can hear God's voice. It often takes
courage and trust to follow through on His directives.
Obeying God on the little things (homework,
entertainment, food, exercise) makes it easier
to obey his commands regarding more significant
decisions.
- Practice obedience to your parents,
teachers, and superiors. If we can't obey people
we can see, how can we obey God? Obedience to
God will always save time, energy, effort, steps
even lives.
- Yielding: Leaving his homeland required
Abraham to yield up his future plans. Furthermore,
when quarrels between Abraham's men and Lot's men
broke out due to the lack of land for their livestock,
Abraham stopped the arguing by yielding. He gave
Lot the first choice of the surrounding land. Lot
decided to live on the plains of Jordon (Sodom and
Gomorrah), which later were destroyed. Then, God
gave Abraham all the rest of the land that his eyes
could see to him and his descendents. What a gift
beyond his expectations or yearnings due
to his willingness to let go! Abraham's solid relationship
with God enabled him to have a harmonious relationship
with Lot.
- Post this phrase on your fridge or mirror:
"Let go, and let God."
- Practice yielding first to God, then
to others. Yielding up your own will or opinion
of how something should be done or said frees
you from a lot of burden and false responsibility.
Yielding also opens us up to new ideas and opportunities
that can strengthen our relationships with others.
- Be willing to give up what you want to do
if God tells you to do something different,
even if it doesn't seem to make sense at the
time. Who can see around the corner? Only God
can. Yielding to God is easier when we trust
Him.
- Trust: Abraham certainly trusted God to
guide him and take care of the needs of his family.
Throughout his experience, Abraham gained a greater
sense of trust and finally learned to trust God
completely. When Abraham first set out, God had
promised him that he was going to father a great
nation, that he would have an heir. It took about
25 years for that promise to be fulfilled and Isaac
to be born when Abraham was 100 and Sarah
91.
- Put one of these simple notes inside your
wallet or purse: "Trust God completely!"
or "Where is my trust?" This will
help remind you that with every decision that
comes your way, you can turn to God for the
answers, listen to Him, and obey His guidance
because you trust God's direction.
- Commitment: Abraham was so committed to
God that he was willing to sacrifice his only son
because he thought that's what God wanted him to
do. Just as Abraham was about to sacrifice Isaac,
an angel of God called to him. Abraham responded
with, "Yes, I'm listening" (The Message
Gen. 22:11). Abraham's commitment to listen to God
every moment enabled him to hear God's angel message
telling him to save Isaac and sacrifice a ram instead.
Since Abraham put God first and foremost, God rewarded
him and all mankind: "All nations on Earth
will find themselves blessed through your descendants
because you obeyed me" (The Message
Gen. 22:18).
- Examine the level of your commitment to God
honestly and thoroughly. How much time do you
spend listening to God and working to understand
God? Do school, friends, sports, drama, entertainment,
even family come before God?
- Make a commitment to put God first, to learn
more about God daily. This does not require
you to spend all your time studying the Bible.
It does require that you turn to God first,
pray daily, and spend some time studying the
Bible each day (even if it's only 5 minutes).
As a result of Abraham's commitment which
started with listening, and required courage, obedience,
yielding, and trust God blessed not only Abraham,
but "all nations." If we, like Abraham,
put God first and foremost above everyone and everything,
and if we get ourselves right with God, then our lives
and our relationships will be a blessing to ourselves
and to the world.
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--MFE |
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Since
the subject of relationships is both significant for
us to understand and diverse, we will continue to explore
different aspects in the coming months. |
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What
are your issues?
Email
us with suggestions,
and we'll try to address them
in the coming months. |
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