New School, New Friends

By Marjorie Foerster Eddington

Question

I'm new at a school, and right now I could probably hang out with any group. I like being with all different kinds of kids. But I feel like that if I don't hang out with the popular kids, I won't meet any pretty girls. What should I do?

Answer

It's a gift to get along with people in different social circles. Value that and build on it. It will serve you well in life – much more than meeting pretty girls or being popular.

Needless to say, the desire to meet pretty girls, or handsome guys, is understandable. But what's your definition of pretty? It's wise not to use other people's standards of beauty, which have largely been determined by the media and advertisers. Beauty really isn't confined to popularity.

Popularity is a funny beast. After high school, it doesn't really matter at all. The question is – what are you looking for? Just a pretty girl and a superficial relationship that leads to nowhere?

Or are you looking for a friend, someone with whom you can share ideas? One leads you into trouble in the long run; the other brings blessings, even true friendship, which is one of life's greatest gifts.

What matters is what's in the heart. There's a story in the Bible that points straight to this. God told Samuel to go to Jesse's house and anoint a new king of Israel to replace King Saul. So Samuel went and asked Jesse to meet his sons.

When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, "Surely this is the LORD's anointed!" But the LORD said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (I Sam 16:6,7 NLT)

So Samuel kept looking and had to ask Jesse if all his sons were there. They weren't. David, the youngest, was out tending the sheep and goats. That's who God chose – the meek guy who was working hard at a job that didn't have a lot of status. But David became one of the greatest kings of Israel – uniting the entire kingdom. That's what comes from looking at the heart and not at the appearance.

So you might ask yourself what's important to you. What will benefit you most in life? While physical attraction can be very strong, it's also very deceptive. That's why packaging products is so vital to companies – people look on the outward appearance. But it's really important to read the labels and find out what's really in the food or the game or product you're buying.

How much more important, then, to look at who someone really is rather than looking at the outside packaging/appearance.

And if you can look on the heart and see the person's character, then that helps you become truly handsome and attractive to others. Your definition of beauty will be far more lasting and real than popularity and looks.